I grew up in an environment where “Tampo” is a common norm of showing displeasure or dissatisfaction whenever your partner, mother, relatives or friends did not the do the thing that you wish for, or things don’t turn up the way you wanted them to be. It is a common practice for a Filipina as a way of sulking in an almost child-like behavior. It is a behavior that might be normal in a society in the Philippines, but probably be misinterpreted by a western people. Filipinas usually can not show their emotions of displeasure or dissatisfaction directly, so Tampo is their way of letting it out.
Last night, after waiting for two to three hours for the “talk” over Skype that he had scheduled, an unforeseen invitation from his dart team came through via phone call. The talk schedule was aborted leaving me sulking… Although Tampo is a common practice to a Filipina, the fact that my fiancé is an Austrian, at this moment this is not really my option. I have to think logical and reasonable that the situation was not intentionally made by him. And as a human being he also need his social group. So I have to tell him that it is ok, followed by the abrupt clicking the end button of the voice conversation as a display that I did not like the situation. This is a common example of Tampo…
Then after a few minutes I have went back to my senses leaving the old practice behind and told him that I am mad, and told him that there is nothing I can do but to let him go with the dart game, and at the same time I am telling him that I do not like the situation.
This article shows that adjustment should not always come from the Western partner, a Filipina should also make some little changes about their behavior to make it match with their partner.
After the dart game, he called me up on Skype and stayed for one hour or so in his sleepy state to make amends of what he did or for what the situation turned out to be.
Although I did not fully integrate the Tampo behavior in this situation I got the amends that I wanted which is the usual purpose of making Tampo in the first place. He made some extra effort to make me feel important than any other things by staying up so late because I have told him in a direct way that I am not pleased with what’s happening and not by displaying the act of Tampo…
